Do they really matter???
Do you ever wonder about the quality of the questions you are asking yourself and where those questions are leading you? My tendency is not a Questioner. I am an Obligor.* However, I have begun to realize that as I ask myself better questions, I get better results. I don’t mean JUST asking questions because we are inquisitive and want to learn, and I don’t mean asking questions because we wonder why someone is asking us to do something that we may not understand. What I mean is: are we asking quality questions to change our mindset and how we view the world???
Since I am a runner, many of the quality questions that I ask myself come up when I am running. The other day on a challenging run, all I could think about was being judged about my running. Was I posting too many run pictures? Do I not look like a runner because I am shapely (and a little overweight for my frame)? All of my questions came from a negative mindset space. SO my question to you is: how do you think those negative questions were contributing to the quality of my run??? At the time, the run was slow, not fun, and I was no where near being done. One might call it a pretty miserable run. Then, I decided to change the questions I was asking myself. I began asking over and over “How can I make this time magical?” Since, I am not creative, my idea of magical was about fairies. Fairies are magical, aren’t they? It was the first time I had asked myself this question so all I could think about were fairies. How fun would it be to be a fairy? As a fairy, I could fly around and grant wishes. Once again, because I am not creative, the wishes were all for kids, and they were what I pictured what kids would ask for: more toys! A trampoline – wish granted. A swimming pool – wish granted. A trip to Disney – wish granted. I pictured myself with my wand, granting wishes, and making kids happy. I think I was smiling the whole time. Before I knew it, I was on the downhill home. Where had the time gone? What had been a miserable run, had become a fun one. As silly as it sounds to transform yourself into being a fairy, the magical question worked. I went from being in a miserable run to one in which I was fulfilled and happy.
What if we asked questions like this more often:
How can I make this moment more magical? How can I make this moment more meaningful? How can I make this activity more enjoyable? How can I make this conversation more impactful?
There are a myriad of questions we can ask ourselves to not only get through miserable situations, but what if our relationships were up-leveled because we asked better questions? What if our businesses grew because we started making more of an impact? What if our lives changed because we began to shift every situation to a better one by simply asking ourselves those types of questions?
Instead of asking “When is the other shoe going to drop?” when times are good, I am going to enjoy the good times and ask how I can make them EVEN better or MORE magical, and when times are tough, you better believe I am going to ask “how can I make this more enjoyable or magical?” I bet when I do, situations get better, and as situations get better, LIFE GETS BETTER. How fantastic would that be???
Do questions matter? I believe they do. Does it matter what types of questions we are asking ourselves? I believe it does. If you are unsure, try it. See if it works, and if it does, let me know.
(*Obliger/Questioner reference comes from Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies.)